4 Life Lessons from Alt Summit

It’s safe to say that my first Alt Summit transformed me. What I thought was just a blogging conference for like-minded creatives, designers, and lifestyle aficionados, is truly much more than that. Sure, the parties are lovely, meeting with sponsors is amazing, and having a reason to get dolled up is a wonderful change of pace; but rather than touch on the frosting of my 4 days in Salt Lake, I want to touch on the cake.

The moist, dense cake that sticks to your gut.

There is so much I could say and so many pictures I could show you. But for now, I’ve decided to share my 4 big takeaways…the things that are still swirling in my head…the things that have stuck out so hard I don’t even need to consult my stack of notes.

In the blogging sphere, it’s common to think that being “successful” means getting to the top {like Grace Bonney or Heather Armstrong} and it’s easy to get down when you feel tiny and insignificant or begin having doubts like “i'll never get there…”, “no one reads my blog”, or the always popular act of comparing yourself against other bloggers.

As I sat at our small roundtable on Friday morning listening to Tiffanie talk about what it means to maintain a small blog with pride, it just hit me. It’s ok to be happy with where you are. Although I would still like to grow my blog {aka – from small to SMALL}, my goal is not to have contributors….or a book deal…or a TV show…or spend my days moderating comments and hustling for deals. It’s not that it’s a bad way to go, it’s just not for me. I work full time outside of this blog and have a family that is priority. Full time blogger doesn’t seem like something I could add to my resume at this point. But, I’m happy and proud of where I’m at, and that’s all that matters.

There’s a difference between being proud of where you are while still aspiring to grow, and feeling like you’re never good enough until you hit that imaginary “peek” you’ve set for yourself.

In 2012, I participated in the first round of Things I’m Afraid to Tell You and when I saw that Ez and Jess were coordinating a chat to discuss authenticity and honesty in blogging at Alt, it was a must-go. Some people don’t like to blog about their personal life. Others do. For me, blogging is a creative outlet that helps me organize my thoughts, figure out who I am, and sometimes gets things off my chest that I don’t otherwise have the guts to say in person. It’s my way of connecting with others and knowing that I’m not the only one out there who may be experiencing something.

Being authentic and true to who you are can come in many forms, whether it’s occasional sprinklings within a larger post that allow readers to connect with you on a deeper, more personal level, OR devoting an entire post to something that you might otherwise be scared to share {but feel like if you do, it would be a relief or help you heal, grow, change, etc}. Either way, staying true to who you are, revealing what you are comfortable with, and doing it in a proactive way, will pay off. Not just with blogging, but with LIFE. The sharing that went on in our circle that day is something that will stick with me for a while.

Self-acceptance and the need to feel as if others “like me” has always been something I’ve struggled with. I’m one of those overly sensitive types whose feelings are easily hurt. I genuinely get fretful if I feel like I’m not well accepted. As I listened to Jasmine Star illustrate through her amazing public speaking skills how to create a personal brand for yourself, one line stuck out over and over: Attract or Repel.

The goal is not to have everyone in the world like you, because everyone won’t. The goal is to showcase your personality and who you really are at the core. Be passionate about what you love and don’t be afraid to share it just because it doesn’t jive with what everyone else is doing. This will either attract people to you, who like you for who you are, and who you can have close connections with, OR it will repel those that don’t. I would rather have 5 close friends who love me unconditionally, than 100 acquaintances that don’t really understand me. Same goes for blogging – creating deep connections and having a tight-knit community of cheerleaders is something to value.

Don’t worry if you feel like some won’t love your latest post, not everyone will, and that’s okay. Write what you want because you love it, not to impress others.

It’s about meeting people in real life and forming friendships. It’s about where and how much you choose to be active on social media. It’s about connecting, following up, being available, congratulating others on their successes, lifting those up that need help, helping when needed, and showing that you care beyond just your daily post. I met a lot of really wonderful people, some who may become long-time friends not because of what they write on their blog….but because of who they are.

Sometimes you just need 4 days with 650 other women {and 3 guys?} to put things in perspective and remind you what really matters. Then, you also need a full week after that to read other Alt Summit recaps {which I can’t WAIT to check out!!}, process everything, follow up with contacts, and generate a massive to-do list {I’m kicking myself for returning to work first thing Monday morning!}.

Of course, Alt is also filled with practical tips for the business and technical side of blogging and there was no shortage in that regard. I am so motivated to do so many things. I just wish there were more hours in the day…

All photos by me.

Comments

[Sarah]

Love your reflections Emily, very inspiring! I'm going to have to seriously considering going to the NYC summit in June.

[Erika Lee Sears]

Such great reflections. I think my fav is the attract/repel- because at the end of the day you want people to like you for you and connect genuinely with people :) it sounds silly because IRL you would only want to be friends with people that like you for you... oh the blogging world. Hope your having a terrific Wednesday.

[Haeley Giambalvo]

I love your takeaways. Great post - and so nice to meet you Emily! I admire that you write such a beautiful blog on top of your full time job and being a mom. Keep up the awesome work. ;)

[Stacie M.]

Mandi and I are both moms who work full-time outside of our homes and write our blog on the side. So I appreciate the idea of being okay with where you are.

And I also love the idea of repeal and attract. We talk about that all the time--growing our audience authentically. There are ways we could have more followers but we're not interested in getting followers in those ways. We want people to stick around because they like us. :-)

Thanks for sharing Emily.

[Living on Love]

Love these! Thank you for sharing. I was sad not to attend, but I'm learning a lot from reading all the recaps!

Thanks & love!

-Lacy

[stacy]

Woman, this post just rocked my world. You did such a great job processing all of this so quickly ... and your photos! oh how I love your photos. I wish I could have taken off a WEEK at least, instead I'm daydreaming about Alt in the pickup line and posting photos from the dentist office. All in the name of the blog, I guess :)

[Callie]

Such a great post! I so agree with your point about accepting who you are. I thought about that a lot at the conference.

[Lauren]

Great recap, Emily...I really enjoyed reading it and hearing your takeaways. I'm not sure I could ever manage ALT. So! Many! People! ;) I was at a much smaller blogging conference this past weekend in Birmingham, AL called FoodBlogSouth, and interestingly some of my takeaways were similar. Especially number 1. I'm okay with where I am. All the talks about pageviews and branding and attracting gobs of readers felt unlike me and what I wanted for my space, and that's okay! It was clarifying for me. Sounds like ALT did a lot of clarifying for you too!

[Adina]

Emily, I wish we could have connect at Alt even more after reading your take aways. I'm in a similar boat with a seperate full time job and I've got a specific vision for my blog that probably doesn't equate with it becoming my full time job - at least not for a few years. Hope to see you at a Seattle meet up soon - I'd love to chat more about it.

[Tiffanie]

Hi Emily. I am so thrilled to read that you got what I was trying to say at the roundtable. It was an important soul search for me in this past year. Your blog is really lovely, I was reading through it the other day. You definitely have your voice already!

I somehow didn't end up attending that many panels, etc. so am really appreciative of posts like these where I can glean some of the knowledge from people who did attend!

[The New Diplomats Wife]

I thought this was incredibly well written - i always find it's reassuring to walk away from something and know that more than one path is possible, even it's not always an expected one.

[Chelsea]

Love this, great lessons. Lets be roomies next year? Also I miss you terribly.

[Megan]

Great reflections Emily! I think we took away a lot of the same things from the experience. I was sad to have missed Jasmine's panel, I love what you have to say about attract/repel. I feel the same way about wanting to be liked, but not at the expense of being true to my own voice and who I am. It can be easy to lose sight of that when I am trying to fit in and be like the big girls. Good luck to us both on learning that lesson!

[Jamie B.]

Such great thoughts and I agree with every single one of them. Sometimes I think, "my blog hasn't gone or done anything so why push myself when I feel uninspired?" Then I think about all the reasons why I actually love blogging and that I truly need to stop thinking about "making it," "being famous," and "impressing people." Those superficial reasons do NOT inspire me to blog. They weigh me down and take the fun out of it. I would have LOVED to go to Alt Summit! I'm not that far away from SLC! Oh well. I need to be a bit more involved so I can know what is going on!

[corey]

great re-cap! i am sad we didn't connect at alt! but, that's what next yeah is for, ey? cheers! corey

[nana]

well here is one thing that you will never have to worry about...I love YOU....I have for a very long time and I always will. This is probably one of those things that we don't say to people in person, huh? But this is just as good a time as any to announce to the world that I adore my daughter in law. She is one of the dearest blessings in my happy life. I also love that she blogs....even though the old lady in me gets freaked about the world knowing so much about her and her family...it has been a way for me to get to know her and wow!!! THAT is priceless. Thank you to her and her readers. It is so nice to see how you all support and encourage one another.

[Andrea]

Love your insight here, Emily. Especially growing a small blog, and being super proud of it. Sometimes it's easy to get caught up with all the possibilities that blogging offers. Some go big, and that's awesome. But there is something about growing something on a smaller scale. That one is really resonating with me lately, I totally with I could have been at that round table - it must have been so awesome!

[Alix Adams]

Emily!
So nice meeting you in person at Alt! You are just as sweet in person as you are on your blog :)!
xoxo
Alix

[Ediblejoy.wordpress.com]

A good reminder to always do what's personally best for you and your unique situation. Good food for thought. Thanks!

[ARC]

This is great - thanks for the recap and the awesome insight. I'm feeling sort of BLERGH about blogging so this was a good thing for me to read so I can put some thought into what I want.

Also, I'll be emailing you about lunch soon :)